"Only in our dreams are we free, the rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett, an English writer
After three months, the sky turns blue again. At least I am happy to see it turn blue after a seemingly long dark and grey sky. Unfortunately, however much we aspire of a sky completely free of clouds, it is always studded with patches of clouds as if they are meant for each other forever. And so is life not completely free of sorrows and unpleasant things that accompany it. So smile on them anyway and they will smile back in return. They are meant to be friends, not foes.
To stay in tune with the sentiments around my surroundings and myself, I have changed my blog theme. It's sky blue with patches of clouds now. And I chose purple color for my blog title but I don't know why.
It is after almost two months I am writing this blog post. In these two months many things happened. On August 15, on Independence Day, I ventured into something that I had been longing for. I knew it was not going to be easy but life mein risk lena parta hain; hain na? And I am still working on it. I felt as if I got freedom after seven years. But I have now realized that being independent isn't a license to freedom from accountability.
Now I am working more hours than I used to. Sometimes 24 hours in a day is not enough. Yet I don't see any tangible results. Sadly, I keep failing and falling downhill. It's like spending a sleepless night and waiting for the first sun rays gushing through the window. Sometimes I feel like giving up altogether. But I am not giving up too soon. Now I have come to know that the dreams that I used to envision and the reality that I see are two separate worlds and don't stay together. If they are, then you must be very lucky. Everything can go your way in mind but not in reality.
At times it seems all the doors have been shut and I have nowhere to go. And it's certainly a nightmarish feeling if you have come to this point any time. Of course, life is beautiful in all its splendor but when it turns cruel, it becomes nasty and it's not easy to talk about it. It takes a little courage to stand up and walk again.
I always envy of birds flying so freely in the sky without having to worry about anything. I guess, I don't know whether they have such a thing called 'worry' in their dictionary. But it just doesn't seem to be. They don't worry about anything. They don't worry about what to eat. They don't worry about what clothes to wear. In fact, God has given them exquisitely elegant clothes to wear. He is so generous! Isn't He? And of course, they don't worry about shelter. If there was no 'worry' in life, majority of the problems we face in life wouldn't exist at all. Even after this realization, surprisingly I still worry a lot about various things in my life. It's not a good thing to keep up as we grow old in age. But it is natural to worry about life: what to eat, what to wear and where to stay, and what not.
As I write this post, Manipur is reeling under the eternal curse of the economic blockade with its two lifelines being throttled. For a gas cylinder, it costs Rs. 2000 now in the Land of Jewels. And prices of all available commodities in the state have shot up to astronomical highs and is beyond a common man's purchasing power.
Now the 'worry-meter' in Manipur measures the highest in India, or possibly in the whole world, as the prices of daily use commodities have far exceeded the common man's purchasing power. People there are suffering to the highest degree as the whole Manipur is being choked to a 'possible death'. Nowhere in India, or perhaps the whole planet Earth is such a dismal state of affairs seen and it is very sad to see people of Manipur -- the people who impose the economic blockade as well as people who don't -- are suffering silently. In Mumbai, when onion prices reached Rs 50 per kg for a week or so, the whole India rose up and within a month, the issue was resolved amicably. But nobody from Delhi is saying anything or doing the least when 'nobody-like-Manipur' is suffering to the extreme. Maybe because it's a small state, or maybe it doesn't contribute anything to the GDP of the country, or maybe it's silent and not doing anything on purpose. I feel so sad that I can't do anything about it.
Well, I wanted to write something else as I began writing and instead I ran into rants. Forgive me being offtrack a bit.
Now I envy the two pigeon birds who come to visit my dwelling place every single day without fail. [Recently they returned from a long trip somewhere] My dwelling place has become their playfield. They play all day long outside the window while I grind as many hours as I can before my monitor. They are so free and they are so independent. I envy them. When I left my job after working seven years a few months ago and began to dive into my personal project, I knew it was not going to be easy. And it's still not easy. Free from bosses is no freedom. Freedom comes with a great price. And I am paying now.
For me, 2011 will be an unforgettable year in my memory lane for many reasons. This year I saw the end of many beautiful things I built for many years and this year set the start of my journey all over again. It's like the beginner's mind. The late technology icon, Steve Jobs said, "It's wonderful to have a beginner's mind." But it's not easy that way. I am starting all over again. Again, 1999 was the year I started all over again.
When something beautiful ends, something else beautiful begins. It's the way how life goes on. It's our choice to snap it off but let it go. At the end of the day, it's destiny that finally decides. One professor describes what destiny is in a simple term like this: Suppose there is a nail pinned on the ground and a needle falling from the sky. Destiny is the probability of the needle hitting the nail on the ground. After all, God is such a mathematician.
It's destiny that binds people together and it's destiny that separates people from one another. We don't have to feel sorry about it. Instead, flow like the river; run like the wind, be generous like the trees. There is so much to learn from them. Life's meant to be a beautiful thing, but not drudgery.
And of course, when God shuts a door, there is always a window open for you. All cannot be shut at the same time. God can't be that cruel.
After three months, the sky turns blue again. At least I am happy to see it turn blue after a seemingly long dark and grey sky. Unfortunately, however much we aspire of a sky completely free of clouds, it is always studded with patches of clouds as if they are meant for each other forever. And so is life not completely free of sorrows and unpleasant things that accompany it. So smile on them anyway and they will smile back in return. They are meant to be friends, not foes.
To stay in tune with the sentiments around my surroundings and myself, I have changed my blog theme. It's sky blue with patches of clouds now. And I chose purple color for my blog title but I don't know why.
It is after almost two months I am writing this blog post. In these two months many things happened. On August 15, on Independence Day, I ventured into something that I had been longing for. I knew it was not going to be easy but life mein risk lena parta hain; hain na? And I am still working on it. I felt as if I got freedom after seven years. But I have now realized that being independent isn't a license to freedom from accountability.
Now I am working more hours than I used to. Sometimes 24 hours in a day is not enough. Yet I don't see any tangible results. Sadly, I keep failing and falling downhill. It's like spending a sleepless night and waiting for the first sun rays gushing through the window. Sometimes I feel like giving up altogether. But I am not giving up too soon. Now I have come to know that the dreams that I used to envision and the reality that I see are two separate worlds and don't stay together. If they are, then you must be very lucky. Everything can go your way in mind but not in reality.
At times it seems all the doors have been shut and I have nowhere to go. And it's certainly a nightmarish feeling if you have come to this point any time. Of course, life is beautiful in all its splendor but when it turns cruel, it becomes nasty and it's not easy to talk about it. It takes a little courage to stand up and walk again.
I always envy of birds flying so freely in the sky without having to worry about anything. I guess, I don't know whether they have such a thing called 'worry' in their dictionary. But it just doesn't seem to be. They don't worry about anything. They don't worry about what to eat. They don't worry about what clothes to wear. In fact, God has given them exquisitely elegant clothes to wear. He is so generous! Isn't He? And of course, they don't worry about shelter. If there was no 'worry' in life, majority of the problems we face in life wouldn't exist at all. Even after this realization, surprisingly I still worry a lot about various things in my life. It's not a good thing to keep up as we grow old in age. But it is natural to worry about life: what to eat, what to wear and where to stay, and what not.
As I write this post, Manipur is reeling under the eternal curse of the economic blockade with its two lifelines being throttled. For a gas cylinder, it costs Rs. 2000 now in the Land of Jewels. And prices of all available commodities in the state have shot up to astronomical highs and is beyond a common man's purchasing power.
Now the 'worry-meter' in Manipur measures the highest in India, or possibly in the whole world, as the prices of daily use commodities have far exceeded the common man's purchasing power. People there are suffering to the highest degree as the whole Manipur is being choked to a 'possible death'. Nowhere in India, or perhaps the whole planet Earth is such a dismal state of affairs seen and it is very sad to see people of Manipur -- the people who impose the economic blockade as well as people who don't -- are suffering silently. In Mumbai, when onion prices reached Rs 50 per kg for a week or so, the whole India rose up and within a month, the issue was resolved amicably. But nobody from Delhi is saying anything or doing the least when 'nobody-like-Manipur' is suffering to the extreme. Maybe because it's a small state, or maybe it doesn't contribute anything to the GDP of the country, or maybe it's silent and not doing anything on purpose. I feel so sad that I can't do anything about it.
Well, I wanted to write something else as I began writing and instead I ran into rants. Forgive me being offtrack a bit.
Now I envy the two pigeon birds who come to visit my dwelling place every single day without fail. [Recently they returned from a long trip somewhere] My dwelling place has become their playfield. They play all day long outside the window while I grind as many hours as I can before my monitor. They are so free and they are so independent. I envy them. When I left my job after working seven years a few months ago and began to dive into my personal project, I knew it was not going to be easy. And it's still not easy. Free from bosses is no freedom. Freedom comes with a great price. And I am paying now.
For me, 2011 will be an unforgettable year in my memory lane for many reasons. This year I saw the end of many beautiful things I built for many years and this year set the start of my journey all over again. It's like the beginner's mind. The late technology icon, Steve Jobs said, "It's wonderful to have a beginner's mind." But it's not easy that way. I am starting all over again. Again, 1999 was the year I started all over again.
When something beautiful ends, something else beautiful begins. It's the way how life goes on. It's our choice to snap it off but let it go. At the end of the day, it's destiny that finally decides. One professor describes what destiny is in a simple term like this: Suppose there is a nail pinned on the ground and a needle falling from the sky. Destiny is the probability of the needle hitting the nail on the ground. After all, God is such a mathematician.
It's destiny that binds people together and it's destiny that separates people from one another. We don't have to feel sorry about it. Instead, flow like the river; run like the wind, be generous like the trees. There is so much to learn from them. Life's meant to be a beautiful thing, but not drudgery.
And of course, when God shuts a door, there is always a window open for you. All cannot be shut at the same time. God can't be that cruel.
