Ten Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You

No wonder we live in a world full of lies and liars. But truth not to be forgotten.
But how do you know when someone lies to you? Down below is an article by Elisabeth Eaves that digs into these issues.

In business, politics and romance, it would be nice to know when we’re being lied to. Unfortunately humans aren’t very good at detecting lies. Our natural tendency is to trust others, and for day-to-day, low-stakes interactions, that makes sense. We save time and energy by taking statements like “I saw that movie” or “I like your haircut” at face value.

But while it would be too much work to analyze every interaction for signs of deception, there are times when we really need to know if we’re getting the straight story. Maybe a crucial negotiation depends on knowing the truth, or we’ve been lied to and want to find out if it’s part of a pattern.

In fact, being able to distinguish lies from truth is important not just in our personal lives but in the economy at large. Trust lubricates virtually every transaction we undertake. In fact, trust may be worth as much as $12.4 trillion dollars a year in the United States alone, about 99.5% of GDP. It’s no stretch to argue that by reducing trust, liars make us collectively poorer.

Lies told on the printed page or on a TV screen may be the hardest to detect. When a journalist at a respected publication tells a tall tale--like the New York Times’ Jayson Blair or The New Republic’s Stephen Glass--those of us without reams of time on our hands aren’t likely to uncover it on our own. The same goes for deceptive campaign advertisements. Fortunately, at least in the case of politics, we can rely on nonprofit, nonpartisan organizations like Factcheck.org, to review the veracity of political claims coming from both sides of the aisle.

Face to face it’s easier to make our own judgments about whether someone is telling the truth. Psychologists who study deception, though, are quick to warn that there is no foolproof method. Bella DePaulo, a visiting professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, writes that “lying is not a distinct psychological process with its own unique behavioral indicators. It does matter how liars feel and how they think.” Indeed, many of the tell-tale signs common to liars, like fidgeting and sweating, can also be signs of ordinary anxiety. It’s tough to tell the difference between a liar and an honest person who happens to be under a lot of stress.

That said, police officers and spies use a slew of interrogation tricks that the rest of us can adopt to improve our detection odds. The professionals look and listen for signs of nervousness, and pay close attention to the content of a suspect’s story. Does it contain a lot of detail? Does it stay consistent through repeated tellings?

Of course, there will always be those who have honed their deception skills to perfection, and they’re never easy to catch. Hardened criminals, especially ones who have been interrogated dozens of times, get better and better at lying, says 20-year New York Police Department veteran Derrick Parker. Magicians also know how to deceive by exhibiting a pleasant manner and relying on spectators’ assumptions. (See: “ In Defense of Trust.”)

For most of us, though, it’s not magicians or criminal masterminds we need to worry about when it comes to detecting deceivers. In fact, we should be most on guard against ourselves. “Often we don’t want to know when somebody is lying,” explains University of Massachusetts psychology professor Robert Feldman. In short, we are programmed to believe compliments and avoid painful truths, both of which make a liar’s task much easier.

[Source:Forbes.com]

Change isn't always pleasant...

Almost a half year gone. Life is going on, on its course though less pacer than anticipated. You know we want our life to run faster and reach our goal sooner. But in real, it doesn't happen that way. Lots of bumps on the road, lots of blockade, economic blockade, non-economic blockade and the like. Lots of obstacles to pass through. It isn't always a pleasant experience to tell you the truth. That's why changes always have to be made but while not changing the target or the goal in mind. Routes are many that you can take to reach your goal even if your main route is in blockade forever like the ongoing economic blockade in Manipur by ANSAM or the UNC. The only difference it's going to make is the time differential. But as i always say time is very important. We mortals are bound by it. Whatever you do, whatever you think, whatever you aspire is bound by time. How i wish we could be freed from time some day. We are all slaves to time. Whether you like it or not.

Even so continue to pursue your dreams.

The world is not always the same. It keeps changing if you keep track of it everyday. We also, if you notice, change. Change is inevitable. In fact, today i am one day older than yesterday. That's a change. There's always winds of change blowing across this universe. And a tree never stands erect when the wind blows over it. It bends even if a little, with the wind direction as it blows. Otherwise it will break itself.

Change with the change of time but never compromise your core values, i.e. that is the character. When it loses, you don't exist. So never lose it. Character. This is where many fail.

There is always this belief, grass is greener on the other side of the pasture. Some truth may be there but not always. Being this belief as premise, many tend to compromise their core values when they accept changes. So when a culture dies, society becomes dead. Change is inevitable but change without compromising your culture.

It's sad to say that Manipur is on the boil again. People of Manipur are facing extreme hardships, pain and agony. Scarcity of food commodities and skyrocketing of prices of essential items have become acute while the two lifelines of the state are being strangulated in the name of economic blockade by hill based ANSAM and UNC. While they may have some reasons in doing so, blockading indefinitely of the lifelines amount to strangulating the lakhs of Manipuris both of hills and valley, which is a crime against humanity.

Change isn't always pleasant.... but change anyway when needed.

All It Takes is a Little Will and an Extra Step Further!

Today is January 31 2010. Sunday. Holiday too. And one month into the year 2010. At the end of the day, every second counts. And we often forget this and time and time again we need to be reminded ourselves of this truth. Why am i saying this? Simple. I have a dream as i am sure you all do. And I don't want to be dreaming in perpetuity like most people do. I want to turn it into a reality sooner. And... because we have become a slave to the entity called TIME and are fettered to its chains. The sad part is you are bound by it. There's nothing you can do about it.

Life has taught me to dream BIG. I still remember one inspirational quote that came across a Competition Success Review issue years back, "Aim for the sky; even if you miss it, you will land among the stars". Yes, there will more mountains ahead of me and i know it's going to be an uphill climb. Also, sometimes i may lose some battles, sometimes my faith may falter, even so, i will keep climbing. Someday when you stand at the top of the mountain and have ice cream there, you will be glad that you never looked behind and you stayed focused and never losing faith in yourself.

Today I was surfing through the Youtube videos, the above video struck me at the core. A Determined Child. Contrastingly a hopeless crowd. We can all take inspirations from a little child. That's a truth. When we were a child, we had full of ideas and full of dreams. Those days at times i even thought i could move a mountain. But as we grow in years, we tend to lose sight of the basics.

So Back to Basics please if you have to. It's needed in our journey. A journey to a life full of life. If needed, start all over again from where you began. As Wisemen said, if you have lost the path in the forest, return back to, from where you began. And then start all over again. It will be worth the walk. Promise!

By the way i am not a big fan of Miley Cyrus, but undeniably i like her songs. Below is one song i most listen to.




Hope, all is well at your end. I will be back. Cheers!

WAKE UP!!!!!

I suddenly realized it's already 11 JAN 2010. Not been even bother to look up at my blog lately. And it's like getting up late in a cold foggy winter morning when you know you're getting late for the office. No, it's mumbai here, Manipur would have been a different world altogether. Here people are alien to the kind of cold snowy winter that we usually have in Manipur. By the way Shimla, Ladakh are a different story altogether.

The problem is... I am just being lazy... and this is the right time to make a choice, though a little late... better late than never. A choice to make things better, a choice that is going to mould and shape my remaining future. That i am not going to be lazy and droopy now going forward. I have wasted a lot of time; now i will not... i will not settle for less than what i am and what i can. I pray for God's help in this and i know he will lead me through to the end.

Hmmm 11 JAN 2010? No, it just may be the day i woke up... 2010. Maybe i have been dozed off quite sometime now. Anyway i am glad i have woken up to the sound of a sweet and saccharine flute echoing from the faraway land, bringing with a sweet nostalgic feeling... feeling of union, feeling of oneness and feeling of belongingness. And everybody wants to be belonged...right?

Here is the youtube video that woke me up! Kudos to the uploader!

Relationships do matter... i wish i could...

Relationship is a lot like a bunch of jumbled threads you ought to disentangle and make it right. And sometimes you break it by accident or something else. It can sometimes be so fragile and delicate. When broken it's hard to mend it. I thought i learned it much earlier before. Sadly i didn't.

It's not always a pleasant thing to hurt or being hurt. But i realized it so late. When the night falls, all you can do is just sleep. Now there's nothing i can do i guess in this. I don't know if i have a second chance or if that's already gone out of my hands.

It feels kind of like an amusement or an entertainment when we read in the newspapers about break-ups of celebrities, talking about -- those guys often use this word 'Splitsville', But i will tell you having a vacation in Splitsville is not a pleasant idea.

Today, i won't write long, i feel sleepy. Most of all, my heart is heavy and my mind is incoherent. But i felt like putting down some words on to my blog abode since i've been away for so long.

But never forget, life is to be living, not to be brooding. So whatever happens, good, bad, pleasant or unpleasant, bitter or sour, never forget, the best of your life is yet to come. So smile through the troughs and crests of life, you know life is like a wave.

So just as Bon Jovi sings, i would sing in chorus, 'When the world gets in my face, i say have a nice day'. And move ahead. Life has a lot to offer more.

STOP SLEEPING TOO MUCH PLEASE!

Robin Sharma, the author of the best seller, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is one contemporary writer i admire and follow closely for his uplifting and transformational ideas and thoughts on life and leadership. Below is his article on SLEEPING!...hmmm those who know me will certainly feel that this is one area i should not be talking about here or let alone of advocating it.. but after reading this article... i have to....

Robin Sharma


I know I'm unpopular on this point. But I owe you my truth: most people sleep more than they need to. They fall into the trap of spending some of the best hours of their lives on a mattress. They squander their potentially breathtaking gifts under the covers. They lose The Battle of The Bed. They trade their greatness for a snooze button.

Here's an insight I invite you to consider: sleep begets sleep. The more sleep you take, the more you need. Ever noticed that as you sleep more, you feel sleepier? Strange isn't it.
But it's true.

Yes, I get that sleep is essential to keep us bright and renewed and healthy. My fear is too much sleep. The kind that keeps great people small. The kind that minimizes high-potential lives. The kind that sucks the living out of human beings destined to shine (and you know who you are). Happens to a lot of us. Because we fall in love with a pillow.

Too much to do and too many great places to explore and too many Big Hairy Audacious Goals (thanks Jim Collins) to get to sleep too much. Life is for the living. I need to repeat that again: “life is for the living.” You and I have been given a gift today: to have the opportunity to make a difference and exercise our talents and have a brilliantly fun time doing it. And we need to seize (and respect) that gift.

So sleep less. Live more. And as Benjamin Franklin observed: “there will be plenty of time to sleep when you're dead.” (I've always liked that guy)

My Recent Home Trip!

This is where i belong. HOME. This is where i began and as far as i know, it's going to end here... HOME. As someone said, home is where your heart is no matter where you are at any point in time on this planet. Earth. This time this came so sudden at my face. out of the blue. And you know what, emergency is going to be one word henceforth that i would abhor to pronounce even. You might have heard a lot of people uttering this word, like emergency case. Well, until it came face to face, i never knew the depth of it. you never know how long the tunnel is going to be until you see the light the other end of the tunnel. It's like kicking a ball in a dark playing field. You don't have time to plan out things ahead, which i usually do. you are blank in head. But i accepted under the circumstances which i would not want to disclose...

I accepted. I am a guy who believes destiny is made by shelf. but sometimes destiny is written by fate. There are times in life wherein you have no control of things in life. It's like driving a car whose brake's just got failed.

i landed home safely 27th August, amidst the ongoing protests against the Khwairamband killings where a reformed militant and pregnant woman were killed leaving five others injured. I sensed an atmosphere quite different from my december trip. As i and my younger brother drove out of the airport, i was shocked to see the whole tiddim road was blank. empty. no buses, no vehicles... except military vehicles... assam rifles i guess so. It feels awkward to see an important road in the capital city of a state empty, if u happen to come from a city like mumbai. So i asked my bro, 'what's going on? Is there a ban today?' he explained, it wasn't a ban. it's just that people don't want to come out of their houses... there's curfew after only a few hours from now.' Suddenly I realized... CURFEW.

There most depressing part of the trip was the whole Imphal city had a deserted look. though people were seen smiling, i saw the fear on their faces, what's going to happen next?. Reading news about manipur on the net when you're away from the state is starkly different from reading the state face to face. It's depressing. it's melancholy. it's sad.



Another thing i was very concerned of was the Manipur's drought situation where i heard fairly about it in news. honestly speaking i am a farmer at heart. the first thing i did was i went to our fields [labuk]. I was caught by surprise to see paddy siblings grow fairly well. I told my father, 'i never expected this... i mean all i heard was that Manipur was facing a severe drought like situation.'



My father explained, 'just two weeks back [second week of August], the floodgates of heaven flung wide open. so we got quite a good rainfall. so we could plant these siblings. just the day before it just stopped.' hmmm maybe raingods might have known that i was coming home...